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Fic | On the shore of a familiar sea | h50
I started writing this a while back, when Ki'ilua first aired, but ended up scrapping it for something else. I took another look at it, tonight, and decided to finish it. Ki'ilua is one of my favorite episodes because...Well, the sheer amount of feelings there, between everyone, but especially Steve, and Danny. ♥
I'm not sure about it; it reads kind of all over the place to me, but I guess it was just one of those things I needed to write.
For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ciaimpala, for being amazing. ♥
Spoilers.
Word Count: 1820
“Jenna,” Kono says quietly, a one-woman salute to their fallen teammate. And she was, even after what she did. It isn’t like they don’t understand; people do crazy, stupid shit for the people they love. Case in point: Danny went to North Korea without knowing if he’d make it back to Grace, or if he’d have Steve, alive, if he did. He isn’t sure he can forgive himself for not regretting a minute of it, for being selfish enough to leave Grace for the chance of bringing Steve home.
The really horrible thing; the thing he half-hates himself for, is that he would do it again in a heartbeat.
Steve hasn’t said anything, but Danny remembers the look on his face in the split second before he realized Danny was there. He’d thought he was a dead man. Danny had, too.
So they’re all at Steve’s, trying to regain whatever ‘normal’ is for them, and Danny’s already called Gracie. Chin is somewhere in the house, somehow managing disgustingly happy with Malia even as exhausted as he must be. She’s good people though; Danny’s happy for them, really. Maybe they’ll manage what he couldn’t, maybe marriage will be good for them. He certainly hopes so. It doesn’t stop him from snorting at the sight of Chin’s goofy grin when the man passes by the lanai doors.
“What’cha looking at, rookie?” he asks, stepping up beside Kono at the railing. He doesn’t really need an answer; it’s obvious what’s caught her attention out there, standing in the surf like the ocean is the only thing capable of driving out the memories. Danny’s been trying not to think about him all day; mostly, he’s failed.
“You think he’s gonna be okay?” Kono asks him after a long moment, and Danny can tell she’s serious, hears the concern in her voice. She’s been through too much already, and he wonders, sometimes, if she regrets it at all. She shouldn’t have had to go through half the shit they’ve caused, but there’s no use crying over what’s done. Kono’s strong, held it together even when the rest of them were falling apart. He gives her question the consideration it deserves, looks across the sand to study Steve’s lean figure against the backdrop of the waves.
His partner still looks like shit, like everything hurts, even on the inside, and Danny doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to erase the marks of torture from Steve’s body, or how to drown out the gunshots in his head. He doesn’t know how to forget the sight of Jenna, sprawled dead on a dirty floor. He doesn’t know how they’re going to get through all of this intact, but he does know that they will. Danny takes a deep, steadying breath, and looks over at her.
She looks young in the way she never does, and Danny chooses the answer he believes in.
“We’re all gonna be okay. You understand? There is nothing broken here that can’t be fixed with a little effort, okay?” He doesn’t raise his voice, keeps it quiet, and just between them, but he does sling an arm over her shoulders, bumping their hips together just to make her smile. “There, see? Hey,” he smiles, tugging her closer, “it’s us, yeah? We’ll do our thing, throw some bad guys in jail; Steve’ll get to leap a couple tall buildings, and throw a few scumbags in a shark cage. Business as usual, and everybody’s happy.”
They would get there, despite the last year, and Wo Fat’s determination to bring them down. They’ve been through too much, have seen each other to the other side of Hell, and Danny damn well isn’t going to give up on any of them. He may have lost Rachel again, but he has Grace, and his team; Steve is home, here, and alive. That’s good in Danny’s book. Sure, they’ve taken some losses; Jenna’s dead of her own stupidity, and it’s sad, and a waste, and she was one of their’s, but making deals with the devil never ends well. He’s not sure he can forgive her for putting Steve right into Wo Fat’s hands, no matter how much he understands why.
“Thanks, Danny,” Kono says, and wraps her arms around him to squeeze once before slipping away. She manages to nudge him towards the steps, and Steve, before she goes, and Danny makes a face at her. She just rolls her eyes, and goes inside.
“No respect,” Danny mutters, giving it up, and heading out onto the beach with a sigh. It isn’t that he wants to avoid Steve; he couldn’t do that if he tried, honestly, and he wouldn’t right now, anyway. So no, there is no avoidance; mostly, Danny just wants to know where this thing between them is really going, where they’ve been headed for so long now, but he isn’t sure it’s the right time for that. He almost lost Steve, though, for real, and he can’t…He doesn’t want to do this without him. Danny can’t imagine doing this without him, anymore.
Somehow, this crazy SEAL has become integral to Danny’s life; the constant true-north of whatever compass he goes by, and he doesn’t know when it happened, but there’s no way out, now. He’s been living with the knowledge that he’s in love with Steve for a while, and he can’t push it away, or deny it anymore. He doesn’t want to.
“Hey, babe,” he says when he stops at Steve’s side, close enough that they’re pressed together because they both need the contact. “What’re you doing out here, huh? The party’s inside tonight.”
Steve leans into him, a little, and Danny can see the exhaustion written in his expression.
“Just needed a little time, Danno,” Steve says, and he’s still hoarse, still tired, and jumpy even though he tries to hide it. Danny could kill the bastard that did this to Steve; knows ‘proper procedure’ might be forgotten when it comes to the fucking monster who’s been trying to tear them down, and apart. He gets it, though; he knows the ocean is Steve’s comfort, and that he’s the anchor that ties him to shore. Danny doesn’t mind it, will remind Steve that he has ohana here, on the land, forever, if he has to. He’ll share his partner with the sea only so long as Steve keeps making it back to shore, keeps remembering that he isn’t alone here, as he once told Danny. It’s kind of his job, to balance out Steve’s issues, and look after him when he needs it.
“She told me about him, ya know. Josh; how much she loved him,” Steve starts, thousand-yard stare fixed on the horizon. Danny can see all the cracks, and the pain underneath. “I get why she did it--”
“No,” he has to cut in, has to, because it isn’t okay that she threw Steve to the monsters for a dead man. “Do not go there, Steven; I swear if you are even thinking that what she did is in any way okay, I will punch you,” he turns, poking a finger gently against Steve’s bare chest. The touch turns into something else though, because Danny can’t resist running his fingers down, brushing over the marks Wo Fat left on Steve’s body. He hates seeing it, isn’t stupid; he hasn’t asked Steve what made them because he doesn’t need to.
Steve huffs a little, looking at Danny with that face he can’t name; the one where Steve’s heart is right out there between them, and Danny never knows what to do with it. He shakes his head, but doesn’t look away, or hide from what he knows is written all over his own face. “She knew, Steve. Deep down, she knew he was dead, and she still traded your life for that,” he knows he’s ranting, hears his own voice crack, but he can’t stop. “I thought you were dead, okay; I thought I’d be bringing your body back if we found you at all! I can’t--”
“I’d do it for you, Danny,” Steve says, shutting him right up, and he stares. What the hell is he supposed to do with that? What’s he supposed to even say to that? Other than that he would do it for Steve, too, probably. There isn’t a lot he wouldn’t do for Steve.
“You can’t just. You can’t. Steven,” he splutters, speechless for once because Steve just came out and said it, and Danny doesn’t miss that fond, amused curl to his lips. He settles for stepping close instead, and this isn’t how he imagined it happening, but it’s them, so he’s probably lucky they aren’t in the middle of a gun fight, or chasing the latest criminal mastermind through the streets.
“Yeah, Danno?” Steve asks, hopeful, and hesitant, and everything they’ve always been with each other there in his voice.
“I love you,” he says, and it isn’t at all what he meant to say, but that’s okay, too. “And if you ever,” he continues before Steve can say anything, “do that again, I will personally hunt you down again just so I can kick your crazy ass.” He knows Steve hears what he’s really saying; the ‘I’m your back-up, asshole, and you aren’t leaving without me again’, because his eyes go all soft, and warm, and he gets that goofy grin that Danny loves.
“It’s about time you figured it out, Danny,” Steve says, laughter in his voice, and Danny ducks his head because yeah, he’s kind of a dumbass. “Think I’ve loved you forever,” he adds, and Danny didn’t expect him to actually say it, can’t help but reach out, and tug Steve down.
“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters against Steve’s lips, “so I’m a little dense. We’ve established that. I would like to add, however, that you didn’t say anyth--” He should have been expecting that; he knows Steve.
The kiss is anything but chaste, which again, Steve, with the lip-biting, and the fucking tongue, and Danny doesn’t really stand a chance, at all. He’s surprisingly okay with that
“I’m saying it now,” Steve tells him when they pull apart, just far enough to breathe in the space between them, and Danny doesn’t even care that Chin, and Kono are probably watching. He just huffs, a little incredulity in his almost-laughter, and shakes his head.
“We’re really gonna do this, huh? You and me?” He can’t help asking, even when he reads the answer in the way Steve looks at him, in the way he touches him like he can’t get enough, and the rough, chapped feel of his lips against Danny’s when he kisses him again.
“Yeah, Danny,” he says, looking down at where Danny stands with him in the surf, the water crashing around their feet. “You, and me.”
Like it was ever going to be anything else.
I'm not sure about it; it reads kind of all over the place to me, but I guess it was just one of those things I needed to write.
For
ciaimpala, for being amazing. ♥ Spoilers.
Word Count: 1820
“Jenna,” Kono says quietly, a one-woman salute to their fallen teammate. And she was, even after what she did. It isn’t like they don’t understand; people do crazy, stupid shit for the people they love. Case in point: Danny went to North Korea without knowing if he’d make it back to Grace, or if he’d have Steve, alive, if he did. He isn’t sure he can forgive himself for not regretting a minute of it, for being selfish enough to leave Grace for the chance of bringing Steve home.
The really horrible thing; the thing he half-hates himself for, is that he would do it again in a heartbeat.
Steve hasn’t said anything, but Danny remembers the look on his face in the split second before he realized Danny was there. He’d thought he was a dead man. Danny had, too.
So they’re all at Steve’s, trying to regain whatever ‘normal’ is for them, and Danny’s already called Gracie. Chin is somewhere in the house, somehow managing disgustingly happy with Malia even as exhausted as he must be. She’s good people though; Danny’s happy for them, really. Maybe they’ll manage what he couldn’t, maybe marriage will be good for them. He certainly hopes so. It doesn’t stop him from snorting at the sight of Chin’s goofy grin when the man passes by the lanai doors.
“What’cha looking at, rookie?” he asks, stepping up beside Kono at the railing. He doesn’t really need an answer; it’s obvious what’s caught her attention out there, standing in the surf like the ocean is the only thing capable of driving out the memories. Danny’s been trying not to think about him all day; mostly, he’s failed.
“You think he’s gonna be okay?” Kono asks him after a long moment, and Danny can tell she’s serious, hears the concern in her voice. She’s been through too much already, and he wonders, sometimes, if she regrets it at all. She shouldn’t have had to go through half the shit they’ve caused, but there’s no use crying over what’s done. Kono’s strong, held it together even when the rest of them were falling apart. He gives her question the consideration it deserves, looks across the sand to study Steve’s lean figure against the backdrop of the waves.
His partner still looks like shit, like everything hurts, even on the inside, and Danny doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to erase the marks of torture from Steve’s body, or how to drown out the gunshots in his head. He doesn’t know how to forget the sight of Jenna, sprawled dead on a dirty floor. He doesn’t know how they’re going to get through all of this intact, but he does know that they will. Danny takes a deep, steadying breath, and looks over at her.
She looks young in the way she never does, and Danny chooses the answer he believes in.
“We’re all gonna be okay. You understand? There is nothing broken here that can’t be fixed with a little effort, okay?” He doesn’t raise his voice, keeps it quiet, and just between them, but he does sling an arm over her shoulders, bumping their hips together just to make her smile. “There, see? Hey,” he smiles, tugging her closer, “it’s us, yeah? We’ll do our thing, throw some bad guys in jail; Steve’ll get to leap a couple tall buildings, and throw a few scumbags in a shark cage. Business as usual, and everybody’s happy.”
They would get there, despite the last year, and Wo Fat’s determination to bring them down. They’ve been through too much, have seen each other to the other side of Hell, and Danny damn well isn’t going to give up on any of them. He may have lost Rachel again, but he has Grace, and his team; Steve is home, here, and alive. That’s good in Danny’s book. Sure, they’ve taken some losses; Jenna’s dead of her own stupidity, and it’s sad, and a waste, and she was one of their’s, but making deals with the devil never ends well. He’s not sure he can forgive her for putting Steve right into Wo Fat’s hands, no matter how much he understands why.
“Thanks, Danny,” Kono says, and wraps her arms around him to squeeze once before slipping away. She manages to nudge him towards the steps, and Steve, before she goes, and Danny makes a face at her. She just rolls her eyes, and goes inside.
“No respect,” Danny mutters, giving it up, and heading out onto the beach with a sigh. It isn’t that he wants to avoid Steve; he couldn’t do that if he tried, honestly, and he wouldn’t right now, anyway. So no, there is no avoidance; mostly, Danny just wants to know where this thing between them is really going, where they’ve been headed for so long now, but he isn’t sure it’s the right time for that. He almost lost Steve, though, for real, and he can’t…He doesn’t want to do this without him. Danny can’t imagine doing this without him, anymore.
Somehow, this crazy SEAL has become integral to Danny’s life; the constant true-north of whatever compass he goes by, and he doesn’t know when it happened, but there’s no way out, now. He’s been living with the knowledge that he’s in love with Steve for a while, and he can’t push it away, or deny it anymore. He doesn’t want to.
“Hey, babe,” he says when he stops at Steve’s side, close enough that they’re pressed together because they both need the contact. “What’re you doing out here, huh? The party’s inside tonight.”
Steve leans into him, a little, and Danny can see the exhaustion written in his expression.
“Just needed a little time, Danno,” Steve says, and he’s still hoarse, still tired, and jumpy even though he tries to hide it. Danny could kill the bastard that did this to Steve; knows ‘proper procedure’ might be forgotten when it comes to the fucking monster who’s been trying to tear them down, and apart. He gets it, though; he knows the ocean is Steve’s comfort, and that he’s the anchor that ties him to shore. Danny doesn’t mind it, will remind Steve that he has ohana here, on the land, forever, if he has to. He’ll share his partner with the sea only so long as Steve keeps making it back to shore, keeps remembering that he isn’t alone here, as he once told Danny. It’s kind of his job, to balance out Steve’s issues, and look after him when he needs it.
“She told me about him, ya know. Josh; how much she loved him,” Steve starts, thousand-yard stare fixed on the horizon. Danny can see all the cracks, and the pain underneath. “I get why she did it--”
“No,” he has to cut in, has to, because it isn’t okay that she threw Steve to the monsters for a dead man. “Do not go there, Steven; I swear if you are even thinking that what she did is in any way okay, I will punch you,” he turns, poking a finger gently against Steve’s bare chest. The touch turns into something else though, because Danny can’t resist running his fingers down, brushing over the marks Wo Fat left on Steve’s body. He hates seeing it, isn’t stupid; he hasn’t asked Steve what made them because he doesn’t need to.
Steve huffs a little, looking at Danny with that face he can’t name; the one where Steve’s heart is right out there between them, and Danny never knows what to do with it. He shakes his head, but doesn’t look away, or hide from what he knows is written all over his own face. “She knew, Steve. Deep down, she knew he was dead, and she still traded your life for that,” he knows he’s ranting, hears his own voice crack, but he can’t stop. “I thought you were dead, okay; I thought I’d be bringing your body back if we found you at all! I can’t--”
“I’d do it for you, Danny,” Steve says, shutting him right up, and he stares. What the hell is he supposed to do with that? What’s he supposed to even say to that? Other than that he would do it for Steve, too, probably. There isn’t a lot he wouldn’t do for Steve.
“You can’t just. You can’t. Steven,” he splutters, speechless for once because Steve just came out and said it, and Danny doesn’t miss that fond, amused curl to his lips. He settles for stepping close instead, and this isn’t how he imagined it happening, but it’s them, so he’s probably lucky they aren’t in the middle of a gun fight, or chasing the latest criminal mastermind through the streets.
“Yeah, Danno?” Steve asks, hopeful, and hesitant, and everything they’ve always been with each other there in his voice.
“I love you,” he says, and it isn’t at all what he meant to say, but that’s okay, too. “And if you ever,” he continues before Steve can say anything, “do that again, I will personally hunt you down again just so I can kick your crazy ass.” He knows Steve hears what he’s really saying; the ‘I’m your back-up, asshole, and you aren’t leaving without me again’, because his eyes go all soft, and warm, and he gets that goofy grin that Danny loves.
“It’s about time you figured it out, Danny,” Steve says, laughter in his voice, and Danny ducks his head because yeah, he’s kind of a dumbass. “Think I’ve loved you forever,” he adds, and Danny didn’t expect him to actually say it, can’t help but reach out, and tug Steve down.
“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters against Steve’s lips, “so I’m a little dense. We’ve established that. I would like to add, however, that you didn’t say anyth--” He should have been expecting that; he knows Steve.
The kiss is anything but chaste, which again, Steve, with the lip-biting, and the fucking tongue, and Danny doesn’t really stand a chance, at all. He’s surprisingly okay with that
“I’m saying it now,” Steve tells him when they pull apart, just far enough to breathe in the space between them, and Danny doesn’t even care that Chin, and Kono are probably watching. He just huffs, a little incredulity in his almost-laughter, and shakes his head.
“We’re really gonna do this, huh? You and me?” He can’t help asking, even when he reads the answer in the way Steve looks at him, in the way he touches him like he can’t get enough, and the rough, chapped feel of his lips against Danny’s when he kisses him again.
“Yeah, Danny,” he says, looking down at where Danny stands with him in the surf, the water crashing around their feet. “You, and me.”
Like it was ever going to be anything else.